Slim Knots

Mommy-Pedi

slimknots — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 22:54:16 +0000

This is my final weekend at home before I depart to embark upon my junior year of college *tear* school really is flying right by! So of course my parents have been trying to squeeze some quality time out of me before I go. Daddy took me to the movies so I could see Inception (he saw Predator which was a #FAIL on his part but whatever) and my mother istaking me out to get a pedicure later today.

Although I bump heads with my mom on plenty of occasions, I really appreciate her for going out of her way to make me feel pampered. We’ve never gone to get pedicures together so this should be “fun”. I really do take my parents for granted sometimes. I take for granted that they’re living and breathing and the fact that they are constantly looking out for me. Some people don’t have parents and even those that do might not have active parents. So while I’m sitting in that huge chair relishing my foot treatment I’m definitely going to reflect on my family and how much I love them. They’re not going to be here forever (although I don’t like thinking about that) so I need to be making the best out of the time spent with them. Being away at college was really my “light bulb” moment (which is sad). I’m handling things on my own and when issues arise no one is looking to hear from my parents, they need MY approval and MY input. It’s kind of daunting to think that soon I’ll be paying my own bills and will no longer be listed as a dependent. I’m moving up in the world!

I Hope She Cheat on You

slimknots — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 03:45:27 +0000

This is the most childish and desperate song I’ve yet to hear but it accurately sums up my feelings for my ex. Marsha Ambrosius croons about her ex and how she wishes his new girlfriend would cheat on him with a basketball or football player among other people. I just smiled as the song played through and detailed several situations in which her ex’s new girlfriend cheats. I absolutely love this despite the immaturity it spawns in me. I inwardly hope my ex finds the female of his dreams this next go round and that she chews his heart up, regurgitates it, and has him on the cusp of depression. This song makes me feel like all will be right in the world once this mystery woman destroys my ex’s world.

“I’m a little bitter, just a little bitter but I’m doing better” —- Marsha Ambrosius

It’s Back Again

slimknots — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 06:29:34 +0000

The feeling I get when I see couples exchanging sweet nothings on social networking sites, the knot in my gut, I’m feeling lonely. The recent events which occurred with my ex have done nothing but make me see how painfully alone I am….again. I’ve never been one to have many boyfriends, I can count them on one hand and not have to use all five fingers. I’m not the girl who had boys huddled beside her locker daily in hopes that she might speak to them. I’ve always been the chill female friend. Until coming to college I was never bothered by it but now the ‘game done changed’. I actually would like a love interest but of course the things I want always elude me. Not to say that I need a relationship but the companionship is something that would be welcomed.

Since Kiah already hit on this topic a while back I’m just going to post a link to her piece. Not everything in her post is what I’m feeling but most of it hit home.

The Curse

Morning Motivation

slimknots — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:49:39 +0000

So I’ve been following Wale for well over a year now and I must say that his music isn’t your average run of the mill over processed chum. Case in point….Ambitious Girl. I wouldn’t call this track a song but more of a narrative. Each day I wake up I’m going to listen to this though.

“I like the person you are but I’m in love with the person you have potential to be”— Wale

It Would’ve Been Nice If You Let Me Know

slimknots — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:45:03 +0000

After about 3 years of being dragged through the mud, cow patties, and God knows what else with my on again off again ex boyfriend, I’ve finally decided to stop letting him back into my life. What? You Slim Knots? Being dragged through the mud by a mere male? Say it ain’t so! Such is life #shrug, and I’ll admit I was caught up in believing that the words coming from that mouth of his somehow justified his less than acceptable actions. This and the fact that he’d become a “comfort zone” for me were the main reason why I let things slide.

I shall now take the time to explain, in brief, how full of crap my ex is:

1. He would end all contact with me for months on end then one day decide that he “Had me on his mind” and that he needed to see me. Me being the gullible ex I was, I’d agree to meet him & relish the time spent with him while reminiscing on the highlights of our past.

I’m an idiot for letting that happen. What female in her right mind allows someone who hasn’t talked to her for months just come back enjoy his company like nothing ever happened?

2. He’d arrange dates then flake without any notice.

Clearly I was not a happy camper after being stood up on more than one occasion. Of course he’d have some outlandish excuse as to why he didn’t show and didn’t call to say he wouldn’t be able to show.

3. Ignored phone calls, texts, smoke signals, etc.

This speaks for itself & was the main catalyst to me ending our friendship indefinitely.

There were other reasons which led to friction between us but for the sake of his privacy (see how nice of a person I am? I could have gone in just now and aired all his dirty laundry but God don’t like ugly so I’ll let him handle his child in his own way) I shall not disclose those details via my blog. Either way, he knew he didn’t want to ever be in a serious relationship with me so why fake the funk? Not only that, but he decided that he didn’t want to be bothered with our “relationship” so he just figured if he ignored the problem (me), then I would go away. Wrong! Ignoring my attempts to contact you did nothing but piss me off. So I had to cut him completely out of my life. I had to delete his number, unfriend him on my social networks, remember the lessons learned from him, but forget the person.

Although I had this bad experience with him, I’m not going to give up on relationships (laughs). Truth be told I need to be working on me before I try to call myself “having a significant other” anyway. My journey with love has been one with more downs than ups but when that right person comes along I’m going to appreciate them that much more. I’m sure I’ll have more bad splits in the future but I’ll be prepared to take the punches (not literal because I’ll be damned if anyone lays hands on me) in stride and go about my life thereafter.

Breast Ironing in Cameron

slimknots — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 18:37:56 +0000

Imagine being a young girl, maybe nine or ten years old, and having to get your breasts “ironed”. Having your mother forcing you down under her weight while she presses hot stone against your chest. This is the reality of about 25% of females growing up in the country of Cameron today. The thought process behind the practice, is to deter sexual activity, thus preventing teenage pregnancy in young girls. It’s amazing how women are victimized in order to prevent male aggressors from raping and impregnating them. The negative effects of breast ironing are numerous and most commonly result in women having severely misshapen breasts and damage to the breast tissue. Brest ironing is very common in Cameron and has been practiced for many years throughout the country. The inner feminist in me finds it absurd that women should have to be the ones to “prevent men from coming on to them”.

Men are never held accountable for their actions when it involves unplanned pregnancies. The woman and her growing uterus are ridiculed and sneered at while the male who fathered the baby is free from such attacks. I’ve never heard of parents actively trying to prevent boys from having sex and making children out of wedlock. Girls are the ones who have birth control pills shoved down their throats & condoms thrown at their feet. However, such is the world that we live in and the umbrella of double standards which we are forced to huddle under.

It’s really unfortunate to know that parents refuse to talk with their children about sexual activity. An educated child is probably more likely to abstain from sexual activity than one who is ignorant and following the advice of their ignorant friends. Permanently altering a child’s body to look unappealing to the opposite sex seems like more trouble than it’s worth. For one, if a girl is beautiful she’ll be attractive regardless of breast size. Second, I doubt anyone that wishes harm upon another person is concerned about how small or large their victim’s breasts happen to be. While breast ironing is appalling to me (and plenty of others) there are people in Cameron who swear by this method of “pregnancy prevention” and see nothing wrong with it. Here’s the video, what say you?

Shining

slimknots — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:50:54 +0000

I absolutely, positively, hate my skin! If it isn’t one problem it’s another and right now it’s oil control. I’ve always had an oily T-zone but recently it’s just been out of control. I just started using a medication to control my acne and lighten my acne scars (that stuff has been a Godsend) and not long after my oily skin just erupted. I can wash my face in the morning and not see any shininess but I guarantee you an hour later it looks like I’ve been dipped in a vat of baby oil.

I’ve tried all the moisturizers and oil-free cleansers out there and still no luck. I don’t “over-wash” my face and I always moisturize after using my medication which is very drying. I’m not sure what to do and I hate having that nasty feeling of knowing that I look like a mirror. I would kill to go one day without running to the bathroom to dab my face with a paper towel *sigh* Oh the joys of my body and sebaceous glands. I should look into the field of dermatology and not sports medicine at this rate.

Good Music

slimknots — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:32:15 +0000

So I’m on twitter not doing much of anything and a follower tweets this….

All I know is that I need to hop back on to my music tip because I’ve been slacking. Selah Sue is the truth! Do you hear me?! I can feel what she’s saying all the way down to my bone marrow and it sent chills up my spine as I listened to the voice that came out of that body.

Second Guessing It

slimknots — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:40:59 +0000

When I was little I had huge dreams of what my life would be. I wish someone would have told me then what I know now. However, that would have taken the beauty out of me growing and learning at my own pace. Now I’m a rising Junior in college and with 20 years under my belt I really don’t feel like the things I should be privy to are known to me. It’s like I’m at a crossroad with no map to tell me east or west. It sucks. Of course we shouldn’t base our life or successes off of those around us but sometimes it’s difficult not to. Not to say that I’m not extremely blessed and proud of where I am in life now but sometimes I wonder.

My parents have and still do keep a tight reign on me. I was never the one in high school to go out every weekend and embark upon amazing teen adventures fueled by hormones and cheap vodka. No, not me. If there wasn’t a football or basketball game to attend I was most likely at home. If I wasn’t at home I was probably out of town for some track meet I was in and if not any of these places I was stuck at the movie theater I put 3 years into. I used to resent my parents and the way they always kept me busy in extracurricular activities to make sure I didn’t have idle time. I did go to a few parties here and there but I always wanted to do more. Thank God they didn’t let me do more though *slight chuckle* I now see where those peers who had so much fun in high school have ended up and by the grace of God I didn’t end up where they are right now. Still, the freedom that my peers had always appealed to me back then. Some of them came home whenever they damned well pleased or just lied about who they were with to avoid having to hear any lectures once they returned home the next day. But I’m “grown” now right? I can now do all those things that a “grown” female does who is “grown” right?

Wrong.

When I am home, which is not often, I still have to adhere to the rules my parents set for the household. While my parents are fairly lenient on the times I can be out til (my dad enforces that but I actually set my own curfew) I still need to tell them where I’ll be, who will be there, etc. I suppose it’s not all bad seeing as how I’m a female and nothing happens in my city late at night anyway. But by now I figure I’d be in some little apartment making my own rules. I guess I really downplayed how dependent I am on my parents as opposed to others I know who’s parents foot the bill for the chic little apartments they now live in. Financially I know that it would be plain dumb for my parents to be pouring in money to an apartment for my sake when I have a room in their house which is perfectly fine lol I’m forever looking at other pastures and assuming that the grass is greener over yonder. I need to work on that because my life is fine as is.

I’m not in a serious relationship (a blog for another day), I don’t have any dependents, I don’t have any debt to pay off from school (scholarships are everything to me), I’ve got a great set of friends JACKES, I’m in good health, and I’m on my way to becoming a graduate of college in 2 years’ time. I’m in a rush to grow up and be truly independent but that’s not the path that’s been set for me. It’s funny because there are people half my age who were forced to become adults due to circumstances. Why am I trying to rush life? Everything I’m begging for will happen in due time and not a moment sooner but waiting is something I really need to work on.

Expecting

slimknots — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 14:25:24 +0000

I woke up this morning feeling renewed and refreshed which is rare, although I plan on making it a habit. I’m halfway through the summer and despite the fact that it has thus far been filled with taking classes I’m getting no credit for and sitting through lectures which have been a significant waste of time, I’m happy. I’m even more excited about the brand new life entering this world in January of 2011.

I’ve always been the person to hear about friends and young teens becoming parents and immediately experience a tightening of my stomach. I could care less about the act taken to create the child, it was always about why proper precautions weren’t taken to prevent the pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, every child is a blessing and I do not pass judgement on young parents in the least bit. However, being an adult and raising children is difficult so I know that being a teen parent has to be one million times tougher. Peers and elders alike turn up their noses at young girls with bulging bellies and swollen ankles. While the boys who fathered these children are free from these sneers and jeers, the girls they impregnated must deal with their pregnancy under intense scrutiny. Such is life though.

Now that one of my dearest friends is expecting at the turn of the year I am faced with the same gut wrenching feeling. Why didn’t they use a condom? He should have done this. She should have done that. Although she’s young, my friend is one of the strongest young women I know. She’s supporting herself though college, dealing with her own health issues aside from an unexpected pregnancy, and she’s dealing with a less than supportive ‘baby daddy’. But through it all she’ll come out on top. Although untimely in her, myself, and our friends eyes, there is always a silver lining for every cloud. The road won’t be easy but the rewards of motherhood will definitely outweigh the crap she’s going through currently. As I type I am currently contemplating how I’ll act during her doctors appointment which I’ll be accompanying her to tomorrow afternoon. Oh yes, I’ve filled the role as her “baby daddy” since the biological father has decided to opt out of this position.

Although I know I won’t be able to ever fill that role as a second parent in the baby’s life, I am doing it more for my friend’s sake. Plus, this baby will have a plethora of god-mommies and aunties who are more than capable of handling anything she (I’m claiming this child as a girl, it can’t be a boy #shrug) can throw at us.